


Nightmares & Flare Guns

by Merlot_Hyacinth



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Male Character, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I really hope I can write up a good ending for these boys, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mentions of Panam/Male V, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Song references everywhere, Summary is subject to change, Technically V is an original character so..., This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, V doesn't like Chinese food, Whump, a borderline selfish amount of angst, i just love them so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlot_Hyacinth/pseuds/Merlot_Hyacinth
Summary: Needless to say, it had been a rough couple days for V, Night City's resident merc extraordinaire, and his new headmate, world renowned terrorist, Johnny Silverhand. Being tethered to a psycho like Johnny while also having to deal with a biochip that's dead set on killing him just doesn't make for a great Saturday night. As their minds merge and they begin to get to know each other better, a healthy friendship starts to take root in the two. A friendship that, for V at least, is in real danger of spilling into something more than just comradery. Its hard to hide your feelings when the one who you're hiding them from is yourself. Who knows, maybe they can learn a few things from each other in the process.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Male V, Panam Palmer/Male V
Comments: 21
Kudos: 72





	1. You Really Got Me

By the time V found himself stumbling back home from the Afterlife, the moon was already high in the sky. Despite that, the city’s neon florescent nightlife kept it almost as bright as day. Of course, the brighter the light, the deeper the shadows permeating the alleys and backstreets. Blurry visions of cars chased their way across his vision as he quickened his pace down the street.

_“You look like shit.”_ And there he was. V’s obnoxious headmate. He just kept walking not even sparing the man a glance.

_“Gee, thanks Johnny. Anything else? Because if not, spare me the theatrics and fuck off. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit tonight.”_

_“Relax V. Don’t get yer panties in a knot. All I mean is you look tired.”_ He knew Johnny was just concerned and trying to be nice, or at least, his version of the word but tonight the concern only served to make V more frustrated with the situation.

_“Since when do you care about my wellbeing? Last I checked, you’re the one who—"_ A sudden blossom of pain erupting behind his eyes sent him pitching to a nearby alley. He barely felt his hands hit the solid wall before he was slowly sinking to the ground. His body felt numb and his vision blinked in and out.

_“Hey deep breaths kid. I got ya.”_ V attempted a response but when his lips parted, only a strangled groan came out. “Don’t talk, just sit still for a second dammit.” he felt his consciousness fading as tendrils of darkness fizzled across his vision. His mind was swimming in the pain. A frantic heartbeat pumped loudly in his ears as he fell. Its unsteady rhythm highlighting the spasms that rocked his frame.

A familiar force tugged persistently at Johnny urging him up into the light. Into V’s consciousness. He felt V himself as they swapped, his pain, his panic, his fear. It sunk into him readily as Johnny assumed control of his mind. He braced himself for the usual roughness of adjusting to being shoved in a body he didn’t quite fit in. But it never came. Yet another reminder that the engram override was still progressing steadily.

Then, as if a barrier was planted between them, all of the other’s pain and panic were abruptly cut off. V was silent. Not simply quieted as was usually the case. No, he was absolutely silent, and that terrified Johnny more than he’d care to admit.

“You better be in there V.” Johnny muttered anxiously as he dragged himself up and brushed off his- V’s pants. “I said I had ya and I don’t intend on breaking my word. I swear I’ll kill you myself if you make me a liar.” All bark, no bite. The eerie void in his head reassured him not a bit. What a weird thing to be concerned about under normal circumstances. To be unable to hear the voice in your head. It was lonely. Even if V was a pain in Johnny’s ass sometimes, he missed him. And, more importantly, V liked talking with him. He was content to listen to Johnny bitch about whatever or play a riff on the guitar. He chose to believe that enjoyment was pure and not a forced byproduct due to the merging of their minds. Their thoughts were so muddled together nowadays.

He had already begun his walk back to the apartment. Mindless work allowing him to focus on trying to coax some kind of reaction from V. Anything to let Johnny know he was, in fact, still hanging on. He even ended up purchasing a box of supposed Chinese style food on the way. Using V’s money to buy his least favorite food should’ve at least awarded Johnny with a wave of exasperated annoyance but his mind remained silent as the grave. Hopping out of the elevator quickly and ignoring the disembodied greetings from people he didn’t know, Johnny slipped toward the apartment. Once inside, he barely spared a moment to lock the door then went straight for the bathroom. What he was looking for sat innocently on the counter. He snatched the pill bottle and shook out a pill. He swallowed it deciding he’s had just about enough of the anxiety gnawing at him. With any luck, V would resurface soon.

The sweeping relief of waking up was short-lasting as pain crept its way back into his head again. All V could do was sit and wait in fearful agony. Wait and hope that he wasn’t already irreparably damaged though, deep down, he suspected he had been for quite some time already. The silence was deafening and just as he felt he couldn’t bear it a second longer, a light began to peel back the layers of darkness.

Slowly, his limbs began to regain a bit of feeling and his vision began to return. After another minute sitting still, the fuzzy haze died down to the occasional flicker and the sounds of the street outside once again reached his ears. V coughed into his palm unsurprised to see crimson when he finally withdrew his hand. He swiped his arm across his mouth with a grunt.

“D-damn that was a close one. Nearly flatlined there.” V carefully tilted his head back against the cool stone of the wall supporting him and allowed himself a second to regain his bearings. His breath began to quicken as he realized he was no longer in the dark alleyway. He was, in fact, sitting in a heap on the floor of his own apartment. Shaking a bit due to the slight lingering protest of his limbs, he heaved himself up clutching the wall for support. Somewhere to his right, he heard the sound of a pill bottle rolling along the floor. “Johnny?” His whispered call was almost instinctive as it fell heavily from his lips.

_“I’m here kid.”_ The sound drew V’s attention to Johnny’s flickering ghost who was leaning against the wall across from him. Dark aviators perched on his nose hid his expression and his crossed armed posture suggested calm. That being said, V didn’t miss the downward twitch at the corners of his mouth or the way his muscles bunched so tightly that his vest creaked at the strain.

“You-” his throat tightened treacherously while his mind sluggishly connected the dots. “You got control again. Brought us back here.” His own composure slightly unnerved him. When, he wondered, had this become so normal to him?

_“Yeah. ‘Bout the only option at the time. You alright?”_ V’s only response was a small snort as he gradually shifted his weight from one leg to the other. A shiver wracked his body just then which almost sent him tumbling back to the floor. He caught himself and tried to focus on keeping from spilling the contents of his stomach. The alcohol from his earlier jaunt down at the Afterlife still kept his head spinning. Not helping.

“My head’s killin’ me but we’ve gotta follow up on that Mikoshi lead as soon as possible. We obviously don’t have the time to waste sittin’ ‘round here.” Actually putting his plan into action, however, proved to be an almost impossible task while his head felt like it was being put through the spin cycle.

Suddenly he felt a foreign touch on his chest and the static sensation jolted his nerves. Before he could try and attempt walking again, Johnny had flickered into existence before him. His touch was light but firm making sure V got the message loud and clear.

_“You’re in no state to be stumblin’ around Night City on your own. I mean, look at you, can barely stand even now.”_ V tried to pry himself away, but his effort was rewarded with another strong shiver up his spine.

“M’ not alone” he slurred “you’re here too. we’ll be fine. I can make do.” Something about that caused Johnny to snap and, before his brain could process the rapid movement, V’s back collided with the smooth tile flooring. Johnny crouched above him, all semblance of the calm façade having been swept away. He leaned in so close that their noses practically touched.

_“Now you clean out your ears and listen V”_ he growled, anger saturated his words. His deep voice hovered just above a whisper but held all the force of a battering ram. _“We're going nowhere. Not today. Give yourself some time to recover”_ V tried to sit up, but even though Johnny was technically only in his head, he felt as solid as if he really were there. He supposed that his body had convinced itself it was pinned and refused to move. Johnny continued, opting to ignore V’s attempted escape. _“If you go out now, any ol’ gonk with a gun’ll take the opportunity to off ya an’ that body we’ve been tryin’ so hard to save’ll be reduced to nothin’ but strip parts. I ain’t about to let you throw your life away now.”_

“Do I have to remind you of what Hellman told us? My neural network has been completely destroyed and I can’t live without the help of the chip. If anything, we know now that time is a luxury I definitely don’t have. It may already be too late! I need to follow this lead or… or I could…” The yell that had previously ripped itself from his throat died suddenly as the full weight of the words settled in. V’s head fell weakly against the floor with a soft thud. “Who am I kidding. I’ll be gone soon anyw-“

_“Quit your moaning! You can’t just give up when shit gets tough!”_ Johnny’s weight disappeared from his chest and he was disappointed to feel him go. V’s mind was reeling at his words. Johnny was right. Where was the determination he had not even a week ago? So much had changed in so little time. _“C’mon get your sorry ass off the floor.”_ Johnny had reappeared by the bed when V made no immediate moves to stand up. He stood there, arms crossed, waiting impatiently. V hauled himself up and dragged himself to the bed where he promptly collapsed again upon the sheets. He had to admit he was exhausted. Clutching a pillow, he buried his face to hide the treacherous tears that seemed dead set on making themselves known. If Johnny noticed them, he didn’t say anything. He simply followed V onto the bed and sat down leaning heavily against the wall, mentally constructed guitar in hand. Even the imagined weight of the man beside him was enough to make V feel safe. A feeling he wasn’t so used to but one that he appreciated all the same. Johnny strummed soothingly until V fell into an uneasy but much needed sleep.


	2. I Looked at You

Morning came quickly. V was startled awake by the radio which was currently streaming some kind of guest interview. Night City’s upper echelon drama had never truly interested him as he was born and bred straight off the streets, but he had to admit that the overly excited voice of the host made one hell of a wakeup call. The first thing he noticed as he rolled over and sat up was the absence of a certain engram. It seems that Johnny was opting to take a bit more time to himself this morning. It was a bit disappointing, but V supposed it didn’t matter all that much. He changed his shirt, restocked his weapons, and strode out the door feeling ready to take on the city.

_“Feeling better then?”_ No sooner had he closed his apartment door and begun his walk to the elevator, Johnny made himself known. V couldn’t resist a small smile hearing his deep voice with a hint of smug satisfaction thrown in. _“Knew all you needed was a good bit o’ rest. Should listen to me more often.”_ That forced a huff of laughter out of V. It felt good.

_“You and I both know that I pay plenty of attention to you nowadays…”_ V trailed off having thought up an even more amusing tease. _“Or would you like even more of my attention?”_ Now it was Johnny’s turn to laugh. He had to admit that he wasn’t expecting laughter, but it was still nice sound to hear. He welcomed the warmth growing in his chest and laughed along.

_“So, we going to meet up with that porcelain princess from ‘Saka now?”_ V cleared his throat, regaining his composure quickly. He nodded a quick greeting to Coach Fred who was smiling warmly from his boxing ring and stepped onto the waiting elevator. The heavy metal doors slid shut behind him with a clang.

_“Yeah. ’S time we heard what Hanako’s gotta say. I don’t want to deal with Arasaka either but if they’ve got the tech that can make things right again, don’t think we can ignore ‘em. Especially if what we heard about Mikoshi is true.”_ The wave of disapproval from Johnny was practically palpable but V knew he saw the sense in his words. That wouldn’t stop him from being an ass about it though.

_“What? That it’s some kind of miraculous soul bank run by corpo dictators? Doesn’t sound a bit far-fetched to you?”_ V shrugged humming thoughtfully as he continued out of the elevator which gained a few confused looks from passersby. _“Dammit V just promise me that at the first sign of trouble, we delta.”_

_“Yeah yeah. I promise. But you also gotta promise to keep an open mind about this.”_ There was no answer to that, and V hoped that his words weren’t completely lost on the man.

Half an hour later, they had arrived at Hanako’s meeting place. Johnny remained silent but didn’t bother trying to hide his anger. It seethed under V’s skin and soured his mood entirely. So much for keeping an open mind.

The elevator dinged cheerily signaling their arrival. Hanako was lingering on the other end of the large space seemingly too distracted to notice them or, at least, she acted like she was. Seated at a grand piano, the neon glow of the city glittered across her gold-plated cyberware. The very picture of wealth, beauty… and danger. He stepped closer warily.

“Excellent, you have come after all. I was beginning to think you had decided against our meeting.” She didn’t move as she spoke. Even her breath barely impacted her slim frame. Her slender golden fingers rested almost reverentially upon the keys.

_“Creepy…”_ Johnny muttered as if noticing the same minute details. He had decided to flicker into existence a little further away, but V felt that his eyes remained trained on them. Waiting for any sign of danger.

“Let’s get right to the point Hanako. We’ve got biz to discuss.” Hanako didn’t seem at all upset about his lack of respect. She simply blinked and inhaled to speak.

“Very well. Did you bring Soulkiller, as we agreed?” V’s heart sank. Both he and Johnny were extremely reluctant to let her anywhere near Alt. That was a last resort. Johnny seemed to have the same reaction and he made sure to voice it.

_“Don’t say a word about it. Be ready for anything.”_ V quietly sighed and thought up a quick distraction. Improvisation had always been one of his strong suits. 

“You seem on edge. Something got you spooked?” It was then that Hanako finally turned to face him. Her eyes seemed to stare deep into his mind as if she could decode his thoughts. She blinked slowly as if disappointed and turned back to the piano.

“We must not get distracted. Did you bring Soulkiller or not?” Hanako’s demonstration had just proved to them that she was a corpo through and through. Charisma up to the teeth and the intelligence to back it up. Well she wasn’t the only one with those particular skills. 

“You think I’d fall for that? Not about to spoil my plan to walk outta here alive.”

“Believe me, if I had any ill intentions, I would have chosen somewhere far more discreet than this. No, we are here because I know how to save your life. I can lead you to Mikoshi.” It took almost all of V’s strength in that moment not to react. He wouldn’t let her take him in so easily. Instead, he decided it to play it safe with another question.

“So it is real then. How do I get to it? If what I’ve heard is true, it don’t exist in realspace.” Once again, Hanako sighed and turned back to him.

“What good would a system like Mikoshi do if we couldn’t access it? Mikoshi has real-world access points. Access points that are very near here in fact.”

“Where?” Right as V spoke, Johnny’s voice also rang clear within his mind. Perfectly in sync.

“Beneath Arasaka Tower.” V’s heart sank. Of course it would be in the belly of the beast.

_“We oughta leave. Right now. We got the info we came for.”_ Impatience rising with no little impact from Johnny’s own apprehension, V stood his ground.

_“Not yet. Wanna hear her out.”_

_“Fuck V… This is gonna be a disaster.”_ Johnny remained at a distance looking absolutely pissed.

“Ahem, is everything in order?” Hanako’s silky voice jolted V back into the real world. She had stood up and was beckoning him toward the bar. “Sit. We have little time.” She took a seat on one of the black leather stools and V followed suit, quickly dropping onto one of the stools, relieved at the chance to rest his tense body at bit.

“Go on then. Talk. An offer like this doesn’t come free of cost.”

“Indeed. It is reassuring to know you understand the circumstances.” V chose to ignore that, focusing instead on pouring out a pair of drinks. A necessity for this kind of conversation. Hanako seemed to follow his train of thought as she grabbed her glass and took a modest sip before continuing. “My brother must be made to take responsibility for his deeds.”

“Revenge then?”

“I simply want the Arasaka Corporation to know the truth of my father’s demise.” When V didn’t immediately attempt to respond, she continued. “Yorinobu will soon call a meeting. Representatives of all factions are expected to attend. It is the perfect moment for them to learn the circumstances of my father’s death. I will get you into this meeting. And you will testify against my brother.”

“Testify? Sounds like a death sentence to me.”

“Things worth having are often worth taking great risks to achieve. Help me get rid of Yorinobu and I will help you get rid of the construct.” V contemplated her words carefully. They were valid, after all, when had he ever gotten anything in this city without putting in the effort first?

“And if it works? Makes you the prime candidate to take the Arasaka throne.” Hanako once again raised her glass to her lips, this time taking a slightly more liberal sip. V took it as a small amusing win that he was exasperating the Arasaka queen to such a point.

“And where would you get that idea?” Her voice was taut and clipped. Trying to maintain her composure despite her rising emotions.

“Figured it was a given.” V stopped briefly to take a sip from his own drink. It burned his throat in a reassuringly familiar way. Calming his nerves. “Besides, you were supposedly going to step in for Yorinobu here in Night City anyway right?” Hanako set her glass down upon the marble with a neat clink.

“Everyone must know their place, V. I know my place, and I have no desire to change it.”

“No desire? Or no permis-“

“I decide my own fate.” It seemed her patience had finally begun to run thin. Despite that, she did not raise her voice or insult him. In true diplomatic fashion, the only indications of her cracked façade were her tense lips and slightly narrowed eyes. “As should you. So? Your decision?”

“Be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued. Need to think about it though.”

“Naturally. But I urge you to think quickly. We do not have much time as I am sure you are aware.”

“I-“ Angry red sparks danced across his vision suddenly. The familiar relic malfunction alert warning him of an impending attack. When his ears cleared of static once again, he heard Johnny’s voice desperately urging him into action.

_“I’m pullin’ the plug V. We’re getting’ the fuck outta here. Now!”_ He was right. They had stayed for far too long and V had gotten much too comfortable in the lioness’ den.

“Are you well?” Shit, now Hanako’s eyes were trained on him as if he was sprouting a third eye.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just, um…”

“You are bleeding.” V jolted and quickly reached a hand up to wipe away the flow of blood from his nose. 

“Fuck…” Now of all times, Hanako decided that this was the perfect opportunity to drive her point home.

“As I stated earlier, we are running out of time. Do not delay.” V’s only response was to shoot her what he hoped was a poisonous look before again doubling over to clutch his aching head.

_“You need air. Now. I warned you V.”_ Any semblance of individual thought wavered dangerously as his body began to stumble away on its own. V felt his panic rising. His heart thudded painfully in his chest and his breathing became ragged with effort.

_“W-what’re you doin’? Johnny?!”_ V called out to the man desperately, alarmed at his ominous words and the simultaneous loss of his faculties, as they crossed the elevator’s threshold and jammed a finger into the lobby button. The doors slid shut and V crashed to the floor. Johnny’s overwhelming influence vanished like mist in heat. Johnny appeared next to him. Pacing anxiously around the small space much like the way a feral cat stalks around its cage. 

_“Shit V its close. I can feel it and I know you can too. You can’t even stand on your own two feet whereas I’m good to go, body listens to me. See what I’m getting’ at?”_

“‘Course I can see,” V grunted painfully, hauling himself backward to lean against the wall. “Want me to hand over the damn keys.” Johnny turned and punched the wall closest to him. Of course, nothing happened but V was sure that it would’ve been sporting a sizable dent if Johnny was actually there.

_“Enough tryin’ to deal with this alone! I wanna save your life V! Pop some pseudoendotrizine, scooch over and lemme get behind the wheel. I’ll get us to fuckin’ Mikoshi.”_

“Yeah? How exactly?” His lungs refused to feel satisfied with the air in the elevator. Talking was beginning to get unbearably difficult but he grunted his thoughts as best he could.

_“Without that porcelain bitch’s help, that’s for damn sure.”_ He looked so strong. Everything about the man before him screamed power and confidence that he could muscle through any problems he faced. Did he see V as a problem to be muscled through? Definitely at the beginning but now? All he could hope was that Johnny really did want to save him but no matter how much he thought about it, he just couldn’t figure out why.

“Don’t… stand a chance without help Johnny.”

_“Right about that, but that’s why I got you. And you got me.”_ V felt a flutter in his chest at those words. Whether or not that was another side effect of his panic attack, V couldn’t be sure.

“What about Rogue? Any chance… she’ll help us out?” Now that Johnny had his full attention, V attempted to stand. It was slow progress, but it was important, so he managed. 

_“Of course, but I’ve put her in the line of fire far too often. Maybe I would’ve done it again if I were still the same guy from fifty years ago but… like it or not you’ve changed me.”_ Yet another warm ripple in V’s chest.

“What about Panam? She and the Aldecaldos… they offered to help. Voluntarily.”

_“Same thing applies. Do you really want their blood on your hands if things go belly up?”_ V didn’t even have to contemplate his answer. He wouldn’t choose to endanger Panam and his nomad family if he could avoid it. He took a deep breath, held it, and pushed off the wall to stand up fully. He had to look Johnny in the eye for this. Stand as an equal.

“You honestly think it could work?” Apparently prepared for the question, Johnny stopped pacing and stared directly at him. His face was the very definition of determination when he spoke.

_“Nothin’ left to lose. ’S all we got left.”_

“Johnny…” V groaned, half from the new pain blossoming in his temples and half out of the desire to speak aloud the name of the man that, in this moment, meant more to him than anyone ever had. Johnny returned to pacing and continued to yell out his grand plan.

_“It’s gotta work! We breach the tower, Alt cracks open Mikoshi, then I-“_

“Ugh…” V couldn’t hold his own weight any longer. He barely felt his legs give out as a numb feeling of detachment swept through his limbs all at once. He was gone before he hit the ground. Johnny’s raised shout was the last thing he heard as he succumbed to the darkness. Perhaps it was the wishful thinking of a dying brain, but V thought he heard genuine concern in that last desperate call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I was not expecting the amount of kudos from chapter one! Thank you so much! I'm extremely excited to continue this work. I have so many delicious angsty plans for this story. ;)
> 
> Song references/inspirations include:  
> "Nightmares & Flare Guns" by Seb Adams  
> "I Looked at You" by The Doors  
> "Leave The Light On" by Zero 9:36
> 
> See you Friday! :)


	3. Runnin' Down a Dream

Johnny spun around quickly when he heard V’s pained whimper. Worry consumed him and he could only stare in horror at the scene before him. V’s eyes flickered unseeingly, face screwed up in a painfully tense expression. Blood had resumed its slow trickle from his nose and now from the corner of his mouth as well. Intense shivers wracked V’s exhausted body as he slumped against the wall and his choking breaths came back wet with blood and bile.

_“V! Jesus! V! Can you hear me kid?!”_ Johnny dropped to a knee aiming to catch the boy, but V’s body phased right through him in lines of infuriating code. Johnny stared at his hands and let out a frustrated growl. What was the point of being around for a second chance if he couldn’t even break someone’s fall?!

V looked so small as he curled into a ball on the floor whimpering quietly, body shaking uncontrollably. It reminded Johnny that the boy was just that. A boy. Far too young to be saddled with these decisions. He was supposed to have his whole life ahead of him. Deserved it even.

Just then, Johnny felt that familiar pull though he noted, with rising panic, that it was much stronger than usual. It yanked at him urgently, forcing him into the forefront and shoving V farther down. It was almost like the chip was excited to give Johnny this opportunity. A pang of guilt struck him as he was, once again, reminded that this was his fault. Whether he meant to or not, Johnny knew he was responsible for all the suffering V had to endure.

He quickly assumed control, patting down V’s pockets for the blockers. He had to give the boy an edge before he fell too far. Before he couldn’t come back again. He finally found the correct bottle but when he popped the cap and shook out the contents, only a single pill rolled out. Johnny wasted no time in swallowing it.

The elevator doors hadn’t even fully opened when Johnny was half running half stumbling in the direction of Vik’s. He rushed through the streets pushing past strangers and dashing across streets ignoring the general chaos he left in his wake. Appearances where the least of his concerns at the moment.

“Hang in there V…” He breathlessly muttered hoping that the pill had taken effect. If it had, Johnny definitely couldn’t feel it the way he normally could.

He impatiently shoved aside a group of gonks crouching by the top of the staircase to the ripperdoc’s basement. The last obstacle between him and the help V needed so desperately.

“Hey you! Think you can go around shovin’ whoever you want?!” Johnny felt a hand grasping his shoulder to spin him around. When he turned, he was face to face with one of the punks who was making what he probably thought was an intimidating face which really only served to make him look constipated. Johnny would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so pissed. He didn’t have time for this. V didn’t have time for this.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Johnny planted one of V’s mantis blades right into the man’s gut. The guy howled and let go, hands now occupied with clutching the bleeding wound. His chooms began to square up and Johnny thought it best to activate the other blade.

Just as they were beginning to lunge, a loud, horrified voice caught Johnny’s attention.

“V?! What are you doing?!” He spun around curiously and was met with the concerned gaze of a familiar young woman. She was quickly walking out from a doorway in an attempt to put an end to the sudden violence.

“Gotta get to the ripper.” Was Johnny’s breathless response. Misty’s face shot immediately to fear then understanding and she began to attend to the group, inviting the wounded man inside to get medical attention. Johnny was grateful for her levelheadedness as he continued his descent into the basement.

It barely took a second to get Vik’s undivided attention. All Johnny had to do was break through the door and shove his current patient right off the nearest operating chair.

Panting heavily, he looked up at Vik from where he leaned over the now empty chair. He was yelling something, obviously pissed that Johnny had just barged right in and disrupted his establishment. Johnny didn’t give a shit and wasn’t afraid to say exactly that. V needed immediate attention.

“Shut the fuck up! V needs help!” Those words were more effective than any stimulant.

To his credit, Vik didn’t show any surprise or shock at hearing that it was in fact Johnny standing before him. His composure took on what Johnny could only call a surgical level of concentration, perfected through years of tense situations, as he immediately began assembling trays of tools and waking up monitors. He even forgot about his patient who had since dragged herself to her feet, apparently unharmed, and was now grumbling about never coming back while exiting the scene.

Vik stopped his preparations just long enough to dump three large pills similar in color to the original blockers into Johnny’s hand.

“Sit down and take those pills. Don’t move after that. We have to keep the body stable to reduce exhaustion and the chance of overheating.” Johnny obeyed his instructions including the act of keeping still. It seemed that V was becoming a pretty compelling reason to break his traditionally rebellious behavior.

This time, the pills had an immediate effect and Johnny reasoned that the feeling of being forcefully suppressed once again should scare him but as he began to fade away, all he felt was relief that there was still enough of V to reclaim his place.

He was slowly being dragged out from the deepest depths of his own mind which was hardly reassuring to say the least. In fact, he wondered if he should even bother leaving the stability of this secluded and silent world at all if leaving meant having to suffer through this amount of sheer terror. He couldn’t see. Couldn’t hear. Couldn’t feel. Was he dead? Or was he floating around in his own subconscious while his body functioned on, content without him?

At least the pain was gone. Pain? What pain? Who was he again? Two names came to mind. Both equally familiar to him. Johnny and Vincent. Was he Vincent? Or was he Johnny? Perhaps both? Or maybe neither?

_“Relax V. It’s gonna take a sec for you to regain control. You’re still you. That hasn’t changed. Not yet, anyway.”_ A voice in his mind. It surrounded him as he was ripped completely from the depths. Comforted him in deep layers of calm. V relished the familiar warmth that it brought him. He allowed himself to relax into the words. Johnny’s words. And he was V.

“Easy there V.” Another voice. Less comforting but still very familiar which was comfort in its own way. It was hushed as if not to spook him. He appreciated the soothing tone all the same. It took him a minute but eventually his mind supplied a name to identify the voice.

“V-Vik? How… How did-“ He voice was dry and rough with either overuse or lack thereof. V couldn’t remember which it was, but he did quickly realize that it hurt to speak.

“Dragged yourself here. Gave Misty and I a hell of a fright. You… you barged in here and demanded treatment.” V’s newfound vision was filled with blinding light when Vik began to run his tests. V winced, trying to look away but finding he was held in place by some kind of restraint. He heard Vik mutter apologetically as he moved away to record his findings.

_“Tell him it was your guardian angel.”_ Johnny again. It felt so good to hear his voice again. Silence didn’t suit either of them. He couldn’t suppress the smile that spread shakily across his face.

“It… seems I wasn’t… completely myself.”

“This ain’t no joke kid. As I see it, you won’t be the one wakin’ up next time.” Vik’s tone betrayed everything from fear to anger to disappointment. V absentmindedly supposed that he should be experiencing a similar amount of dread at the diagnosis but, funny enough, all he found within whatever was left of his battered personality was tranquility. “I’ve… got some things for you.” Vik slowly wheeled in a small tray, the contents of which being one pill on the left and a fresh bottle of pills on the right. “The last dose of pseudoendotrizine. A gift from Misty. Wanna give in to that thing in your head? Be my guest. But if you wanna end things on your own terms, take matters into your own hands, I’ve thrown in some more blockers. It’s up to you V. The monster in your head can’t influence this decision.

“He… Johnny’s… not a monster. Not anymore.” V felt something stir within him. It felt like a smile. Both warm and sad at the same time. He felt surprise, guilt, happiness, and sadness in that moment. They took turns trickling through his mind. Were they Johnny’s?

“And is that you or your mixed personalities talkin’?”

That was just it. He could no longer tell the difference between himself and Johnny. If V was finally beginning to feel Johnny like he had been able to feel V all this time, it meant that they had begun the final stage of their transformation.

_“Alright, you heard him. Last chance. Gimme the wheel. Only way this is gonna work.” Johnny snapped back from his thoughts before V._

“Hold on Johnny. It’s still my decision. Maybe even my last one. Gotta think.” Johnny didn’t reply but he could feel that he respected V’s decision.

“V… you’re talking out loud.” Misty’s tentative voice rose softly from the entrance drawing V’s attention.

“O-oh… sorry.” V mumbled embarrassed as he slowly attempted to sit up. Misty rushed over and helped him up.

“Its okay. No reason to apologize.” She made sure V was steady then turned to him once more. “I want to show you something. A place where Jackie and I liked to go.” V was a bit hesitant after hearing Jackie’s name. The guilt came crawling back all too quickly.

_“C’mon. Need some air anyway.”_ Johnny always made sure to snap him out of those thoughts quickly. V finally nodded, following Misty up some stairs and out onto a neon lit rooftop. The air was cool on his skin and the sounds of the city as it prepared for the night provided the perfect ambience. Life here would go on. He thanked Misty who recognized quickly that he wanted to be alone. She gave him a gentle hug before leaving.

_“Anyone you gotta talk to? Now’s the time. No matter what you decide, it’ll be risky.”_ Johnny flickered into existence choosing to settle on the roof’s concrete barrier overlooking the city. _“What about Panam?”_

“Nah she… you were right.” V took the chance to sink comfortably onto one of the awaiting chairs sighing in relief. “I could never put her through that. Besides, I can’t, you know…”

_“I get it.”_ Of course he did. They were so alike in so many ways and experiences. It was a shame it hadn’t always been like this.

“Heh. ‘Member that first morning? Really scared the hell outta me. Swore you were gonna kill me.”

_“Yeah, I remember. Not exactly the best morning for me either. We’ve come a long way together.”_

“Hm…” V leaned his head back to gaze up at the darkening sky. He couldn’t actually see any stars here, but they still glittered before his eyes. That first view of the stars while sitting around a campfire with Panam would always be ingrained in his mind.

Both he and Johnny simply sat in silence. Neither felt the need to spoil this brief moment but as with all good things in Night City, they must end eventually.

_“Let me save you V. Don’t you dare hand yourself over to Arasaka.”_ It was barely a whisper, but V heard it all the same. V sighed quietly and tilted his head back to Johnny’s perch. Opening his eyes, he realized that the man was eying him too. All aggression in him was gone. It took V a minute to realize that this man, who usually got his way by force, was pleading with him. For him.

“I think I’ve made up my mind. We’re doin’ this together. No Arasaka assholes poking through our head. However, this is still my burden to bear. Gonna do it my own way. No blockers. In fact,” V pulled the pills free from his pocket “no meds at all.” He looked up and threw them off the roof before he could think more about it. Johnny watched them fall.

_“What’re you thinkin’ kid?”_ Johnny sat up and turned his full attention back to V. A slowly growing smile on his face. He knew already but he wanted to hear V say it.

“When I first took the job from Dex, he asked me if I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory or live the quiet life. Even though it was just him tryin’ to sell me on takin’ the gig… turns out, that question has been on my mind a lot lately.” V finally returned Johnny’s smile. This was the most important decision he was ever likely to make and the first one they had made wholly together. “It’s exactly what Vik said. ‘S time we take matters into our own hands. If we’re goin’ down, there better be plenty o’ guns and fireworks to see us off.”

Johnny’s smile grew impossibly wide as he rolled off of the wall and strode up to V. They looked at each other, both smiling, feeling more alive than ever in the other’s gaze. Acting from one mind, they both reached up to grasp hands. Johnny pulled him up quickly and held him close. V’s brief surprise was overwhelmed by the feeling of the embrace. For the first time, Johnny’s body held some warmth. For the first time, he was sure that Johnny was really there. The man seemed to take notice of V’s attention to detail and laughed softly.

_“Sounds like you just figured out what it means to be a legend.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! this chapter gave me so much trouble but eventually I got it to a place where I can be happy with it lol. I am extremely pleased with the amount of positive responses this fic has been getting! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)
> 
> Song references/inspirations include:  
> “Nightmares & Flare Guns” by Seb Adams  
> “Runnin’ Down a Dream” by Tom Petty  
> “Feel Something” by Bea Miller  
> “A Moment Apart” by ODESZA
> 
> See you on Monday! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this first chapter! I'm wholeheartedly invested at this point so we'll see where this goes.
> 
> Song references include:  
> "Nightmares & Flare Guns" by Seb Adams  
> "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks  
> (and yes, every chapter will be the name of a classic rock song just like the quests in the game) :)
> 
> I’ll see you again on Monday!


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